Let me first start off by telling you THANK YOU for taking the time to come and visit my site and read my very first blog post.
I plan to share different parts of my life here with whoever is interested. Using my blog as an open and public diary. Treating it as a space where I can be my authentic self. Giving you the good, the bad, and the ugly... The Real 😫 lol.
So... last year, things seemed to get really real, real quick!
2020 was a very trying and difficult year for many people, including myself. And at the start of the pandemic back in mid March, I became very VERY anxious and depressed. Scared of the unknown.
My job had become even more difficult and due to everything that was going on, even more stressful as I was considered an “essential worker” (I was working from home full-time as a Fraud Account Supervisor for a very well known Financial Institution 😬😩😔).
I had been working for this employer for about 8 or 9 months and had anticipated transitioning to a new position that would have been somewhat of a promotion and less stress for me. But of course with the uncertainty of how long the pandemic would last, no one within the company was able to shift positions even if they were eligible to. I felt stuck and frustrated.
As the days and weeks went by, I could feel myself getting sick. Suffering from migraines, insomnia, bad nerves. I dreaded having to log in and work everyday and deal with extremely rude customers. The shift that I was scheduled to work was from 1:30 in the afternoon to 10:30 at night. I tried my hardest to be empathetic to customers because they were going through some of the same things I was going through, but some interactions were just ridiculous and unbearable. Fraud cases were at an all time high, it was a hot mess. I didn’t feel like myself and on top of being a new mommy, I still just wanted to feel love and be with my baby girl.
Throughout all of this, I sought out professional help. Starting seeing a therapist and psychiatrist virtually on a biweekly basis and was eventually diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The sessions and prescribed medication over a few months helped some, but just didn’t “fix” me how I had hoped they would. It was just a whole lot going on that I was having a hard time dealing with. Work, my personal life and the safety and health of myself and family.
Then the George Floyd murder happened along with the riots and it just did something to me... I was furious, irritated, sad and just over it all. And on top of all of this, towards the end of June, I started suffering from pain and trouble hearing all of a sudden in both of my ears, more so my left ear.
I feared that I may have started to lose my hearing, so I scheduled an appointment to see my primary care doctor, who then referred me to see an ENT specialist. I was at a breaking point, and didn’t feel comfortable working until the issue with my ears was resolved. After consulting with my doctor, therapist and ENT specialist, I felt it was best that I take a leave of absence from work to work on my ear health and mental health as well.
With me not working for almost 5 months during my leave of absence, I had more time to truly work on fixing myself from the inside and out. Not only work on trying to feel better but putting in the effort to get back to a happier version of myself. I had complained about not having the time to do things that I really loved anymore, that I suppose God‘s sense of humor was just like ”Ok, here‘s your Time”. I had more time to spend with my daughter, my family, and myself. I had the time to unleash my artistic and creative side again. A time of healing that kinda put a fire under my butt to stop procrastinating and use my gifts and talents and be happy!
I used all of my time wisely and I’m pretty proud of myself. I worked on self care by getting up and out of the house, going on walks with my daughter and just enjoy nature. Went back to my first loves: drawing and writing. Finished publishing my first children’s book, started a new business, and started working with a dope and talented Graphic Designer to help with creating this website and getting it ready for launch! All I can say is I’m BLESSED!
I was blessed to have had enough money saved in my savings during this time off to still be able to pay my bills, eat and do these things. My employer at the time had only approved me for one month of short term disability. Even getting approved for that one month was difficult but God definitely made a way! He was in control! I even remember praying to God to bless me with another job that would allow me to support myself and my daughter and still be able to work from home fulltime as well, and He did that too! I was blessed with another full-time work from home position with one of my previous employers I had worked for prior to having my daughter that had decided to go remote 3 weeks before I was scheduled to return from my leave of absence with the financial institution. I was happy to accept the position and put in my resignation.
I took a risk!
I took a risk to start over once I went back to work after having my daughter working for the financial institution in a role I didn’t really want to be in, but stuck through it during its season. I took a risk taking months off work to work on my health, myself and goals this past summer not knowing if I was going to get paid or not.
And I took a risk applying for a different position at my previous employer that I left a great impression with.
Shortly after starting the new job with my previous employer, the pain in my ears subsided and I was able to hear better, not perfect, but better.
I‘m able to stay at home with my daughter and make ends meet while continuing to work on my business and personal goals as a full-time mommy, authorprenuer, Brown Gal, and creative.
All this to say YOU can do it too!
If one plan doesn’t work out you can always create another and GOD always makes sure his children have and want and need for nothing!
I still don’t know what is going to happen as we continue to live through this year of 2021, but I know God has great things in store for my future! Our Future!
The processes may take some time and things may not always happen when we want them, but everything happens right when we need it to.
So continue to just stand! Keep your faith strong and do the dang thang! 😉
Sorry for the novel lol
21 Days To Rewire Your Mind